Time is coming to an end, less than 30 days left in
this program! As the close continues to creeps up on us I find myself becoming
more and more stressed in regards to my life after AmeriCorps. Stressed in both
a positive and negative way...if that makes sense. I'm anxious would probably
be more accurate.
This program has changed my life in ways I cannot
even explain and probably not comprehend right now. Each and every single
person on my team has taught me something new both about the world and about myself.
We started off with approx. 260 corps members and now it's down to around 160 I
believe...it's been a long "weeding out process." But I can honestly
say that the people who have remained here the whole time are some of the
strongest and brilliant people I've ever met. I truly admire each and every
person who has stuck it out and will graduate with me in November. Upon
arrival I remember being anxious and worried about being around all of these
people but after about a week or so I found myself excited and looking forward
to every day! Although there were some "rejects" for lack of a better
word who were just trouble makers from the beginning I found myself feeling a
strong sense of community amoungst members. That sense of community is still
strong. I am proud to say that everyone I formed a strong bond with and
consider a family both on and off of my team are still here.
This program has really showed me a lot about
diversity and what it means in the "real world." When I think about
diversity now I don't think about what makes us all different, I think more
about what makes us the same. Being the same isn't necessarily identical, we
just have formed a community of extremely different people from different
backgrounds who all came together for one purpose: to serve those who need it
the most. My teammate, Michael, said it very well when he said this year is
about "self(less) discovery." This year has opened my eyes to so much
about myself that I didn't even know was there and it continues to amaze me even
today. Although it's great I've learned so much about myself I'm still shocked
at how much I learned about others. Before I came to this program I had very
little experience with people different than myself - coming from a middle
class, primarily white, small town in Virginia I was pretty ignorant.
Throughout the year I've had to come to a lot of realizations about how I
viewed the world and how my thoughts and actions could impact others. I
remember at the beginning of the year there was a discussion on my team
about what we deemed inappropriate (since we come from different backgrounds
obviously this answer was different for every individual) so as we went around
the circle one of my team mates, Rachel, mentioned some derogatory words she
felt were inappropriate to be used - I immediately was taken back by the fact
that someone could feel so strongly about a word...it'd just never been an
issue to me. But with further discussion I found myself seeing her point of
view and understanding that my words DO have an impact on others and just
because I don't intend something to be hurtful doesn't mean that it's not. I
feel like that discussion was the first of many that made me question how I
treated others and how I felt I should be treated. I'd like to thank Rachel for
being the person brave enough to speak up those first few weeks...she honestly
opened my mind to a lot of different things I just never thought about before.
I could go on and on about what else I've learned about myself but to sum it up
concisely I'd have to say I've learned to take myself seriously. I do have an
impact on people around me and things I say can and do make a difference. Also
to "hold it lightly" as my teammate Corey would say. Nothing is so
important that I should get all worked up over it...it's really not a big deal
in the long run. And I've learned to follow my dreams, as cliche as that sounds
I feel like I've learned that I need to aim high. My definition of success and
yours may be different so by holding myself to the standard of others I'm
cheating myself out of happiness. If all I do is live to please others then
when is it my turn to be happy and do what I want? That is probably what I'm
most thankful for in this program, the courage to chase after my own
dreams.
What does the future hold? Who knows...but I do
have a plan and a dream (again very cliche, sorry) so I know I'm at least
heading in the right direction.
So far here's my life after AmeriCorps ideas:
November-December:
Work full time, somewhere, anywhere! I’m putting in applications literally
everywhere I can think of.
January-May:
Go back to school, partake in VA master naturalist program
April-September:
AmeriCorps program with VA state parks doing trail maintenance, yes I realize
that school and this overlap, I need to figure out if there is anyway to
reschedule the dates which I doubt but I want to talk to people.
May-August:
if the above plan doesn’t work hopefully I can still find work at the state
parks or just keep the job I hopefully get in November.
Later on in
life/long term goals…
STL for
AmeriCorps NCCC Baltimore edition
WOOF in
Ireland
NOLS in
South West or Idaho
FEMA corps
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